Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Woooot and Purrrrr! And to think I was bemoaning how no one gives me poetry books for Christmas! Well, some Peep was listening and I am pleased to say that I just opened my token -- and it's a wonderful token -- Christmas present that is a poetry publication: PRO FEMINA by Carolyn Kizer. It came accompanied by 14 by Boris Rhyzhii, translated from the Russian by J.H. Stotts. I am grateful thank you mucho salamats et al.

And I am also grateful for this annual missive from my older brother which shares The Washington Post's winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. Enjoy! The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after
you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts
worn by Jewish men.

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