WHAT I WOULD DO FOR MOI COUNTRY

Never has the requirement that U.S. presidents be born in the U.S. shown its limitations as much as it does nowadays.

For, everytime I watch the news about and debate between the Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates, I feel -- I really really feel -- the call for my own contributions. Yet, not being born in the U.S., I'm not allowed to campaign for and then enter (as most assuredly I would win any campaign) the White House and set things straight in the United States of America.

For one, I live on a mountain and thus can see over many lands: no one is more qualified than I am in terms of foreign policy expertise. I also majored in political science at Barnard College, studying specifically under Richard Pious, expert on U.S. Presidencies--I mean, come on!

Last but not least (I only mention two of my qualifications due to my innate modesty), as a banker I specialized in fixing deals put together by greedy, incompetent bankers. Need I say more?

So, really, I feel sorry for the United States of America. I would love to be your president -- I'd be the first woman, first Brown, first .... oh so many firsts I would be as president! -- but my parents were carousing elsewhere, totally unmindful of the effects of their decision to hang out among the carabaos.

All is not totally lost, however. I can do something for you -- point you to a poetry book that anyone interested in politics should read: DISAPPOINTED PSALMS by Brian Clements.

I wish, however, that I can do more. Moi have so much -- so much! -- to give.