SACRIFICING MOISELF FOR THE SIMILE

I am a mom to a 16-year-old boy

and it is a challenge! To wit, until recently, his second-highest grade was his A in English (his top grade is his A+ in art, Preen!). Well, do you know what this 16-year-old boy did? Pray tell it's the age-typical rebellion against his parents, okay. So, he FAILED his most recent English quiz (thus dropping his A to a lowly B+). But do you know what his quiz was on? Yep: the topic was POETRY!!!!

Needless to say, I gave him grief. No, I didn't claim that he should have mastered that quiz because he is the son of a poet (a humongous diplomatic feat on my end, Moi must say). I said that if he failed a quiz or test on a topic, he needs to research that topic on his own and master it on his own time. He riposted, "No." He changed his mind when I said something about sleeping outside with the mountain lion. Anyway, that was last night...

....this morning, he had the industriousness (that's moi boy) to research the first of two topics he must learn: the simile! His "homework" from his parents was to write five similes after he learned the concept. He had several false starts like

The cat is as bad as a tiger but she is a tiger.

which partly reflects how he's only just starting his 4th year of speaking English -- he is still very literal which is not unusual when it comes to learning a new language. Nonetheless, after more effort, I think he at least has learned the simile; here are his five successful attempts:

1) My phone dropped into the toilet like a shooting star.

2) The Grinch is as mean as my Mother.

3) This woman is large like a bus.

4) Achilles [our dog] is as sweet as cotton candy.

5) Will Ferrell is funny like a clown.

Yes, you can tell from No. 2 and possibly No. 3 that he devised the homework to also get back at me for being such a ... Mom! But Moi gets the last word of course; he just became fodder for a blog post and possibly future poems.

Here is Michael again, wearing the letter-jacket of a guy I dated in college and which I kept even after we broke up because it's the best jacket I've ever worn (a story for another time) and which Michael -- as nosy as a ferret (heh) -- found deep in one of the closets:

Next up: the metaphor!