ANTI-MONUMENT POETRY

For the same construction hoo-haa involving BIG BURLY MEN (see prior post), got a marble fountain project going whose base will include four rectangles, each of which will be carved with hay(na)ku. The four hay(na)ku are each inspired by and titled after Galatea's four pets: Achilles, Gabriela, Artemis and Scarlet.

The Fountain Committee rejected the hay(na)ku I proposed for Gabriela. Now, each of the hay(na)ku should capture each animal's character, and here's the poem that really captures Moi bratty minx of a dawg who is always getting into trouble:

GABRIELA

Foxtail
in pussy--
a $450 ultrasound.

It's based on a true story. The dawg sat her furry butt on the ground to scratch herself and some foxtail -- that weed with razor-like edges to its leaves that's unfortunately prevalent on Galatea's mountain -- wormed its way up into what Oprah calls "vah-jay-jay".

Even my stalwart vet was grossed out when we spread her legs to see the puss leaking from her vah-jay-etcetera. But what mostly irks me is how her butt-wiggle cost an expensive ultrasound, followed up by antibiotics treatment and so on.

As Mom said, "That dawg should wear panties."

Anyway, Gabriela is forever getting into various assortments of trouble, and that hay(na)ku is purrr-fectly pitched, as I proclaimed loudly to the Fountain Committee, aka the Irritating Hubby.

But no. Said Committee proclaimed right back, "No way we're etching 'pussy' into marble."

I wrote a replacement hay(na)ku. It's so bland I'm embarrassed to blog it, but it's what passed muster, given the context for it: a marble monument.

And that's why poems are quite often boring when written for monumental occasions (presidential inauguration, anyone?).

Real poetry requires one to go out beyond one's writing studio, fearlessly sit one's panty-less ass on unknown territory, and go butt-twitching wild without at all giving a Flying F about public opinion.

Wooof.