IRONY POETICS

Okay. So I naturally want to teach moi boy some manners. To wit, I'd like Michael to do less belching about. But the times that I've tried to provide politesse guidance has only made him want to belch more.

So, yesterday morning, I hit on the brilliant -- brilliant! -- idea of addressing two doves with one kiss. I thought up this container now on our kitchen table with a taped-on label that proclaims

                  
BELCHING FOR HUNGER

Yes: irony. But for a good cause! For each belch, peeps in the house have to donate a buck to the container whose proceeds later would be given to the local food shelter or other hunger organizations. Michael has money in his piggybank that he earned from Abuelita from getting good grades in sixth grade.

Thing is, as I write this, said container contains $13, of which $3 comes from the hubby, $5 comes from the Abuelita, and $2 from Moi. Michael has only donated $3 so far.

Why did I never notice before how often peeps belched in the house until I felt compelled to teach manners? And Moi! I didn't know I belched (albeit daintily and prettily, no doubt...)!

And my mother is the biggest belcher!!! Now, she noted that this is actually good, especially for "senior citizens." Her explanation is that years ago she once had to be brought to the emergency room because she thought she was suffering from a heart attack. While being checked, the doctor had asked her if she belches or farts a lot. She replied: Negative. The doctor replied right back, "Not good. Try to belch or fart more."

Apparently, gas can get trapped in the muscles, which is mitigated by farting and belching. People who get gas trapped in muscles often wake up some day feeling like they're having heart attacks....

I am reminded, as I write this post, about a former elderly lady who was a neighbor back in New York City. She lived in an apartment next door to ours. She was also a nosy old biddy, bless her senior-citizen-heart. She used to love nothing better than to stop by unexpectedly to see what we're doing. She'd cheerfully go through our rooms in the apartment, which was not a problem, except that she would fart every other second. I, uh, digress...

Anyway, Belching For Hunger -- yes, that's the latest doings in my "sandwich generation" household where I have both a child and an elderly parent. If that's a weird result, what can Moi say? I'm a newbie parent...

But if you think that tale is ugly, you should know about me tutoring math -- let's put it this way, I think the kid is starting to realize I'm literally a chapter ahead of him in the tutorial textbook...

There are only so many ways one can hide behind a poem...